Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Online dating, why?????????

I have been online dating with real effort for just under two months with three months as my goal on the paid sites. I am on 2 free sites and 4 paid sites. I have changed my profile and photos many times to keep on the top of the viewing list but all to no avail. I have not had one meetup. Came close a few times but realized that something was fishy three times and after a few emails cut the communication off. Two told me they had been hacked and had security checking all their sites and that's why age was 10 years off and why nothing came up on google (one a professional that needed to be licensed). If I can't google them I am leery and for good reason. I have gotten some form letters and when I wrote back they didn't acknowledge my responses at all. I have asked for what I want, told some facts about me and posted current photos with my full body in them. Hey, I know I am not the thinnest, nor tallest, nor cutest nor  most beautiful but either are the ones I am choosing. I have picked all races, all religions and all sizes. The last few days I have had a conversation with an interesting person who lives more than 20 miles from me and I asked if he wanted to meet halfway as I thought he was a good guy. He wrote back that he was tempted but felt there wasn't a connection for him. It had to be looks as everything else was compatible. I wrote him back and wished him good luck in his search and that he was passing on a wonderful person and that is when he wrote he was tempted but in his search he had to tell the truth. Okay. Believe me I have passed many a photo that truly didn't meet my standards. I want someone with nice teeth and looking like he takes care of himself. That's it. I am not that picky I don't think.
Well with only one month remaining on the paid sites I am taking a new tactic. I am telling it like it is. Here is my latest profile. "I am financially secure. I own my home. I love my grown sons and their families and most importantly we get along. I have lots of friendships with many years under my belt. I work on my friendships. I love to travel and have seen a lot of the world. I have had amazing long term relationships after my 20 year marriage but now am ready to settle down and be with my last man. I am willing to live with someone, which I had not wanted in the past. Marriage, not a necessity but if it happens that would work as well. Swimming three times a week is my passion as well as making art and writing. I just am looking for a man who can say the same. Are you out there?"
I have changed the format from listing honesty, trustfulness and wanting someone secure and happy with their life to putting exactly what I have to offer.
This is not my first go around on internet dating. I did it when I got divorced 25 years ago and every time a relationship broke up. This will be my last time. I still believe I will meet someone from my adventures and in person. All my relationships have been from just that way and all were ones who wanted marriage (except one) and I didn't want to live with any of them or get married again. I love my life but would love to have a boyfriend who is compassionate, a lover, a traveler and is young at heart. I truly think that is not asking a lot. What do you think?
I have heard from many women who all say the same thing and are happily single but have so much to offer. They write on the sites FB pages how awful it is out there. I truly have heard great stories as well about how they met the love of their life. I have heard from men who think every woman is out for their money and have too much baggage. I want an equal partnership with each person giving 100%. Is that out there? I am not giving up hope but my skies are clouded right now and I need to breathe in a fresh day with wonderful air quality to push the clouds away.


  1. Hang in there, Madge. Maybe change up the way you're doing it and just go out on dates for fun instead of the pressure of finding a relationship. Set a goal of going on 25 first dates in the next year and don't take any of them too seriously. Just have fun. Enjoy the journey. It's the way you live your life so why not try that with the dating process? :) Good luck.

  2. Barb, believe me I am trying. I can't get even one meet up date and I have been viewed by over a few hundred men I think and not so much as an interest in meeting on any level. I am not giving up. I have had a lot of interest from men out of state who want friends. I need no more friends. I am not traveling to another state to meet someone as I have no plans to move from my area unless they really made it interesting to leave my family. Are you still seeing the same man?

  3. Madge, I hope you don't give up in spite of the frustration. You put yourself "out there" in so many ways and online dating is just one part of the whole picture. Perhaps there are wine tasting, singles book clubs, singles bike clubs etc.etc.etc! Like you have said, it only takes one. I'm confident that there will be someone special for you and I hope that you will keep pursuing your dreams.

  4. Thanks Valerie. I am trying to relax about it. I am also researching meetups to meet more people.